I started writing this piece with, "How to stop emotional eating..." but I know that would not be authentic of me. It's not what I tell my patients and clients, I have not stopped my moments of emotional eating myself. So, "manage" lands right for me. I hope it does for you, too! Let's dive in...
So you’ve had a long exhausting day. Maybe work was overwhelming, the kids were acting up, or you just feel drained. You reach for a bag of chips, a pint of ice cream, or whatever comfort food is calling your name. Mine is a snack from my childhood called Choc Nut. (My husband buys it when he comes home from the Philippines. It is my favorite "pasalubong!") Right there, you already know it is emotional eating. Because I derive comfort from eating it being reminded of home and my childhood. —not because you're hungry, but because you’re looking for relief. Sound familiar? This is emotional eating in action.
What is Emotional Eating?
Emotional eating is eating in response to feelings rather than physical hunger. It’s using food as a way to cope with stress, sadness, boredom, or even celebration. And while it may bring temporary comfort, it often leads to guilt, frustration, and a cycle of feeling out of control with food.
Why We Emotionally Eat
We turn to food for comfort because it’s accessible, socially acceptable, and gives us a quick dopamine hit. However, the relief is temporary, and it doesn’t address the root of the emotion we’re trying to escape. Instead, it keeps us in a loop of numbing and avoiding rather than feeling and addressing.
The Simple Mindset Shift: From Control to Curiosity
One of the biggest reasons people struggle with emotional eating is that they try to control their urges rather than understand them. They force themselves to “just have more willpower” or “stop eating emotionally,” which only makes them feel more restricted and out of control. And when they don't have control, they make it mean that there is something wrong with them and beat themselves up. With negative self-talk like:
"what is wrong with you?!", or
"why can't you get it together?" or
"well, what else is new? Here we go again!"
Our perfectionism tendencies will come up and say, if I'm not doing it well, I might as well not do it at all! Read how to navigate all or nothing thinking here:
But what if, instead of control, you approached your emotions with curiosity? Instead of trying to shut down cravings or fight the urge to eat, you pause and ask:
What am I really feeling right now?
What do I actually need in this moment?
Is food truly the best way to meet this need?
What’s a different way I could comfort myself?
This shift from judgment to curiosity takes the pressure off. Instead of feeling like you failed if you emotionally eat, you see it as an opportunity to learn more about yourself.
Steps to Manage Emotional Eating
Here’s how you can put this mindset shift into action:
Name It – When you feel the urge to eat, pause and acknowledge, “This isn’t physical hunger; this is emotional eating.”
Notice the Emotion – Identify what you’re feeling. Is it stress, boredom, loneliness, or something else?
Normalize It – Remind yourself that emotional eating is common and doesn’t make you weak. It’s a learned response that you can change.
New Plan – Instead of reaching for food, find another way to address your emotions. This could be journaling, going for a walk, deep breathing, calling a friend, or simply sitting with your feelings for a moment.
Progress, Not Perfection
Breaking free from emotional eating isn’t about never emotionally eating again. Recognize when it happens, learning from it, and gradually choosing new ways to respond to your emotions. Some days, you might still turn to food—and that’s okay. What matters is that you’re building awareness and giving yourself the tools to shift toward a healthier relationship with food.
So next time you feel the pull of emotional eating, take a deep breath. Get curious, not critical. Do not beat yourself up which can stress you even more.
Over time, this simple mindset shift can lead to profound, lasting change.
Tell me in the comments your favorite treat!
DISCLAIMER: Lea Famularcano, MD is a medical doctor, but she is not your doctor. She is not offering medical advice on this website. If you are in need of professional advice or medical care, you must seek out the services of your doctor or health care professional.